The car is loaded and you're pointing in the direction of the rest of your life. The first stop? College. What kind of person will be waiting for you when you carry your first armful into your new dorm room? That's the million dollar question. One of the initial things you should do after unpacking is sit down with your roommate and discuss some important issues:
1. Discuss your sleep patterns. If you are a morning person and your roommate is a night owl, viva la difference! However, there are some things you should discuss before anyone disturbs the other. Can you agree a time for 'lights out' at night and 'lights on' in the morning? You may need to go elsewhere for your studying and socializing, but it's a matter of respecting someone else.
2. Identify community property. What did you bring to college that you are willing to share and what is strictly hands off? Go over everything: music, movies, office supplies, toiletries, food and even clothes. You'd be surprised what some people thing is okay to share. Clear the air early in the relationship.
3. How many people can sleep in one dorm room? The more may be merrier, but maybe you're roommate isn't into waking up with all of your cousins on the floor every weekend. Romantic visitors pose an even stickier situation. Set some ground rules about what you think is fair when it comes to overnight guests.
4. How will cleaning be handled? If you're both neat freaks, all the better. However, you could easily find yourself in an "Odd Couple" situation in which one is n eat and the other is slob around the dorm. Be honest about which you are so your roommate will be prepared when reality hits. Divvy up things like taking out the trash and cleaning the floors from the beginning to avoid surprises.
5. What do you need to help with problem areas? If you both want to use the bathroom at the same time, something as simple as a vanity or make-up mirror on a desk would alleviate some of the bathroom traffic. If closet space is a deal-breaker, consider added a storage bin under each bed. Get creative!
If all else fails, go for moderation. After you've discussed problem areas with each other and given it some time to work, things should go smoothly. If not, don't air your grievances with those around you; take them to your Resident Assistant instead. Conflict solving is part of their job and maybe they can smooth things out for you. If you still don't think you and your roommate can co-exist, go to the housing office at your university and ask for a reassignment for one of you. This is an important time for both of you and you need to be able to focus on other things besides domestic problems. Living with someone outside of the family isn't easy, but it can be fun if it's with the right person. - 31376
1. Discuss your sleep patterns. If you are a morning person and your roommate is a night owl, viva la difference! However, there are some things you should discuss before anyone disturbs the other. Can you agree a time for 'lights out' at night and 'lights on' in the morning? You may need to go elsewhere for your studying and socializing, but it's a matter of respecting someone else.
2. Identify community property. What did you bring to college that you are willing to share and what is strictly hands off? Go over everything: music, movies, office supplies, toiletries, food and even clothes. You'd be surprised what some people thing is okay to share. Clear the air early in the relationship.
3. How many people can sleep in one dorm room? The more may be merrier, but maybe you're roommate isn't into waking up with all of your cousins on the floor every weekend. Romantic visitors pose an even stickier situation. Set some ground rules about what you think is fair when it comes to overnight guests.
4. How will cleaning be handled? If you're both neat freaks, all the better. However, you could easily find yourself in an "Odd Couple" situation in which one is n eat and the other is slob around the dorm. Be honest about which you are so your roommate will be prepared when reality hits. Divvy up things like taking out the trash and cleaning the floors from the beginning to avoid surprises.
5. What do you need to help with problem areas? If you both want to use the bathroom at the same time, something as simple as a vanity or make-up mirror on a desk would alleviate some of the bathroom traffic. If closet space is a deal-breaker, consider added a storage bin under each bed. Get creative!
If all else fails, go for moderation. After you've discussed problem areas with each other and given it some time to work, things should go smoothly. If not, don't air your grievances with those around you; take them to your Resident Assistant instead. Conflict solving is part of their job and maybe they can smooth things out for you. If you still don't think you and your roommate can co-exist, go to the housing office at your university and ask for a reassignment for one of you. This is an important time for both of you and you need to be able to focus on other things besides domestic problems. Living with someone outside of the family isn't easy, but it can be fun if it's with the right person. - 31376
About the Author:
Jim Kline is a college counselor currently working on an online degree in educational administrator.
